Music and lyrics

"I never knew, I never knew that everything was falling through. That after all these years I'd still be calling you, to try and sell you on the thought of coming back to me.."
-Mike Posner & the Brain Trust

I remember a time when I used to listen to music but never related to it or actually listened to the words and meaning behind it all. It wasn't til a couple years ago that I really started appreciating music. I now see that it's just another way to connect with people. I had a conversation with someone once about the reason why we like certain songs without knowing why. They said it was because there was a similar relation between you and that song.

I often say things, and end up eating my words in the end. I truly want what I say as of late to stick. "Never say never" is the kind of bullshit I've heard a few times lately. I can't decipher the difference between those who give me real advice, and those who get their advice from the cliche advice giving handbook (this book's definitely a best-seller by now). Yet with all this advice and words that I've been giving and equally taking, I still don't know the truth. The one thing I'm longing for is the truth. Actually, I lied. I'm not going to act like that's my life. Wondering the truth from a person. That's just giving them more significance than they deserve. But as a human being, and having these natural insticts, I do long for the truth, as well as the long awaited closure.

The relation between the words that came out of Mike Posner and the Brain Trust's mouth and myself is simple. They speak the truth. But the truth that defined me before. Who knows whether or not I'll be eating my words again. As for now, I'm on a diet. No more eating words.. just spitting them out. Hopefully as sick rhymes. Haha.

Real talk, someone once told me that we like songs because there was a similar relation between you and that song. I vote that to be correct. It has to be correct, or else music would not be a dominant force in the world. My only advice to you would be to just choose the song wisely. Unless the song chooses you first.


Phil Collins. He's the man. And just that awesome.

Carlyn

Wedding season

Seems like when spring is in the air, so is love. Mandee's had engagement fever.. and now I'm watching the Wedding Planner. So one of my fave chick flicks. Along with the Wedding Planner, I indulged myself in another super corny movie, Bring It On.. the first one! Not the even cornier Bring It On Again or Bring It On: All or Nothing.. but the first one. It's sad that I know all these movies, but they are apart of the horridly awesome and quotable teen movies that I love.

So today, I seemed to notice so many places of worship. Temples, churches and mosques.. It was pretty cool actually. I never noticed how many there were here. Made me feel a bit relieved actually. Relieved to see that people actually are going to their religion and faith for something.

I'm having a good hair day. A really good one. Doubt I'll have it again tomorrow, so I'm glad I wasted it on a day where I see no one I know. Yup.... pretty greaaat. I'm tryna convince Jett to make a twitter right now. I'm feeeenin' to read the sequel to that book. Feeeeeenin' I tell you. I'm babbling on right now. Woo. Okay, when I have more "words of wisdom" or somewhat meaningful thoughts, I'll share. But it is now time for me to go back to my oscar-winning movie that I'm watching.

Carlyn

Staten Island, NY is equivalent to Forks, WA

I've turned this blog into complaint city. And even though I have soooo much to complain about right now, I'll only do it for like a couple sentences.. instead of a bunch of paragraphs. So, let's get this puppy started, yeah?

Okay. First things first, I hate NYC Transit "officers". They're rude and can't cut a girl some slack. I don't want to get into the details of how I got fined $100.. but let's just say that I GOT FINED $100!

Second things second, I have this horrid 5-page paper due tomorrow on formalist criticism. And I was totally complaining about a paper on Nike. Glad I figured out the levels of difficulty. It's ridiculously unnecessary for me to do this much work at the end of the semester. It's the last thing I want to do, and it's the last thing I actually have to do ( besides the actualy test taking part ). Ughhhh! Can't anybody help me write this thaang?

THE END OF COMPLAINTS ( major complaints that is )

Now.. That wasn't so bad was it? On a brighter note, I finished the book that I was reading! I somehow got all caught up in the hype and joined the crowd of girls who are in love with this fictional character. Though, I'm not fully in love, mostly partially. I say partially because when I close the book, I realize that I'm still in this world that doesn't have blood sucking vampires in it. Or am I wrong? Whether I'm wrong or right doesn't quite matter to me. What matters to me is the hiddeous rain we've been having. Not to go on about this book that I shall not dare name or admit to reading, but the weather here has been relatively similar to the weather in Washington. ..Who knew April heatwaves can bring May showers?

Carlyn

Apparel

I attend a college that is materialistic, vain, and at times pretty interesting. There's a bunch of pros and cons to being in this atmostphere. You learn a lot of what to be and what not to be, how to dress and definitely how not to dress, and even how to strive. Sometimes I doubt my acceptance in this institute that is "Fashion". I often wonder why I was accepted. I'm even judgemental to the point where I wonder how she was accepted dressing in those outdated clothes. This school makes me aware of things like that. I know it's wrong to judge a person based on appearance, but whether or not I learned it from this school or from my household- it's all still wrong. It just stinks that the trait of judging becomes heightened while being in one of the fashion capitals of the world.

The times that I question my belonging most is when I'm placed in the classroom and pitted against some of them. Actually, not so much pitted, mainly for the fact that we're not really competing.... yet. While in class I see the interest that my peers hold in the topics being spoken about. Not only is it apparent in the way their faces are, but in the way they dress and speak. Compared to the high percentage of people who love fashion, I'm not one of them.. anymore. Or so I constantly think. The drive and passion that I once held, seems to be missing. I look around the classroom often jealous of these people. Not because of the clothing that they wear or the items they seem to obtain ( which I often find myself questions their means of actually being able to get it ), but mainly for the fact that they have that passion and that drive that I no longer do.

The lessons that are being taught seem tedious and not relatively interesting at all. I entered this school knowing what to expect: hard work, awesome clothing, and a lifestyle that many only dream of getting. What I didn't expect was to hate and not care for everything that I knew was coming. I knew that I wanted to be in this ndustry. I knew to succeed I would have to work for what I wanted. I knew that clothing interested me. And suddenly, all that I knew.. went away. I no longer know what I want or what to expect.

And as I sit here, trying to write a paper on the company Nike, I wonder whether or not this industry is right for me. Don't get me wrong, I still do enjoy the aspects of fashion more than the next person. But I'm not sure I hold the same strive that my future competitors hold. Because in the end, all that we're working for is just a worthless piece of apparel.

Carlyn